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Dominik Diamond thought he had it all figured out: on Holy Week, the Scottish TV host would head to the town of San Pedro Cutud in Pampanga, Philippines. There he would join local penitents by carrying a cross up a hill... then having himself nailed to it. Dominik Diamond would be crucified in real life. And have the whole ordeal broadcast on primetime!
Sadly, the whole thing went awry at the last minute. As the Irish Independent newspaper puts it:
The docco, Crucify Me, was to focus on Diamond's quest for spiritual salvation but has now turned into something of a comedy after he carried the cross to his appointed spot, prayed for 10 minutes, broke down in tears, bottled the whole thing and was led off to a chorus of jeers from the punters.
A suitably embarrassed Diamond has tried to defend his choking, saying: "At all times in this journey I have been guided by my God in ways I could never have predicted. Having experienced the humility of bearing my own cross through the streets, I felt my God wanted me only to pray at the foot of my cross." ("I've changed me mind about that crucifixion", Independent.ie)
Whatever, Dominik, you yellow wanker. If you really want to see crucifixion done right, head on over to San Pedro Cutud in the Philippines, and try to grasp the motivations of otherwise sane people who take a day or two off of their lives to have themselves nailed up to crosses.